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Blitzkrieg Blonde

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07:17 pm: I have had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming.
So I went to see Episode III finally. I'm still trying to get my thoughts together on the subject. Thanks, Georgie boy for another stinker. It wasn't as bad as Episode II and that's not saying much.

I'm sure everyone has seen this by now, but I made a cut just in case...

Here are some random thoughts on Episode III (in no particular order):

1. I believe Georgie boy watched The Matrix one too many times with all the kung-fu pirouettes and flippy-flips. I did NOT need to see Palpatine bouncing across the room unless there were some serious Yakko and Wakko sound effects dubbed over...(BOINGY! BOINGY!) It just wasn't the same. And why the heck did Dooku have to do a swan dive off the balcony when he could have taken the stairs like everyone else? Show off. Off with his head!

2. And Padme getting into the Naboo Fighter and saying, "C-3PO will watch out for me..." Yeah, gay-bot 2000 is only protecting his shiny, golden ass...You think he's going to protect you?! Maybe if you were 6'4", brooding and had a penis--C-3PO is still waiting on a good ol' fashioned Ani-pounding).

3. I think I was probably the only one in the theater who burst into laughter when Anakin goes into the Jedi Temple to slay the 'younglings.' Okay, that was the first time the 'younglings' even appeared and it had to be in time for a good slaughter. Mmmm...slaughter. And, I swear I thought the li'l one was going to say 'God bless us every one...' That's probably what launched my fit of laughter...

4. Did the entire frame of every action sequence have to be filled with CGI? Remember what Mama told ya George, 'less is more.'

5. walkinlikecain--you were soooo right. Anakin's turn was far too simple.
Palpatine: "Here's a bright shiny quarter, Anakin, now how 'bout switchin' to the Dark Side?
Anakin: "Hmm..."
Palpatine: "Okay, how about a Werther's chocolate and you can sit on Palpy's lap for awhile?"
Anakin: "Gee, Palpy, that's a swell idea!"

Okay...enough for now. I have to collect myself...


Comments

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From:teague
Date:July 11th, 2005 12:02 am (UTC)
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I'm just glad that it's not all the slash fic I've been reading that made Palpy seem TOTALLY GAY HELLOOOO! *snapsnap* Talk about being seduced by the Dark Side. I mean, you *know* Sidious was just waiting to tap that ass, and the scene where he sent his little flunkies away to watch a Coriscant version of a Broadway show with Ani was pretty obvious. So was the obvious delight when he had Ani on his knees.
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:July 11th, 2005 12:30 am (UTC)
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Ummm...I hadn't even thought about the broadway show!

As the figures danced serenely in the background, Palpy stared deeply into Anakin's piercing, wanton eyes and he knew, oh yes, he knew, that Ani would soon be his...
[User Picture]
From:teague
Date:July 11th, 2005 07:54 am (UTC)
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*evil purient giggle*
[User Picture]
From:davidmcd
Date:July 13th, 2005 02:12 am (UTC)

Heh

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For a minute, I thought you said 'purulent'... I was, like, "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww"
[User Picture]
From:teague
Date:July 13th, 2005 02:16 am (UTC)

Re: Heh

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I don't even know what that means and it sounds bad!
[User Picture]
From:davidmcd
Date:July 13th, 2005 02:29 am (UTC)

Do you want to know?

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Sure, why not...

It means pus-filled. It's a word we use at work a lot.
[User Picture]
From:tripartite
Date:July 11th, 2005 02:52 am (UTC)
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Palpatine: "Okay, how about a Werther's chocolate and you can sit on Palpy's lap for awhile?"
Anakin: "Gee, Palpy, that's a swell idea!"


Was this supposed to be punny?
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:July 11th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC)
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Ahhh...you got that did ya? ;-)
[User Picture]
From:tripartite
Date:July 11th, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I rode that wave.
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From:walkinlikecain
Date:July 11th, 2005 05:02 am (UTC)
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Palps ain't gay! Anakin...*shakes head* Anakin should be forever injuctioned about calling himself Vader...James Earl Jones is Vader - not some faggy ass Backstreet boy bitch...

And Palps fucked Yoda up his ass - he owned that little bitch!
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:July 11th, 2005 01:44 pm (UTC)
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Okay, okay...but you have to admit their scene together were just a bit homo-erotic. ;-)
[User Picture]
From:tripartite
Date:July 11th, 2005 03:39 pm (UTC)
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How could they not be gay? Back Street Bitch was in them. o_O
[User Picture]
From:walkinlikecain
Date:July 11th, 2005 08:05 pm (UTC)
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Yeah - I thought Anakin was gonna blow him for a second...
From:voodoo_chile66
Date:July 11th, 2005 10:25 pm (UTC)

Once again, you have crystalized my thoughts eloquently.

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"And why the heck did Dooku have to do a swan dive off the balcony when he could have taken the stairs like everyone else? Show off. Off with his head!"

I thought he did get his head cut off. I don't know, maybe I blacked out during the entire thing, or maybe the trauma was so great that I repressed the memory and it became 2 1/2 hours that will forever be unaccounted for. All I know is, there was way too much going on to be thrown together in all that last minute garbage. It reminded me of the "Abyss" where the movie got to a point and the writers just ended it in half-assed fashion. Ahhh, well, at least it is over. I mean, it is over, right? That's it. Right? No more? Please? Finito, si?
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:July 12th, 2005 11:37 am (UTC)

Re: Once again, you have crystalized my thoughts eloquently.

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Dooku did lose his head, thankfully. But like walkinlikecain, I think it would have been much, much cooler had it been at the hands of Grand Moff Tarkin. (That is, of course, if we could resurrect Peter Cushing for just such an event).

We can only pray, for the love of all things holy in this world, that Lucas is finished. I mean, what more can he do to destroy his franchise?

[User Picture]
From:davidmcd
Date:July 13th, 2005 02:26 am (UTC)

...my eloquent (?) thoughts....

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Dooku did lose his head, thankfully

Yeah, but, sadly... it was just so much like a "Highlander" moment when it happened. Or is it just me?

I mean, what more can he do to destroy his franchise?

Well, I would say, "Something along the lines of intergalactic pornographic..."

But...

It all depends on how one defines pornography, doesn't it?

Pornography (n.) (pôr-nog'-gra-fE) Lurid or sensational material; the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction.

Hmmmmmm. Kinda fits with "Episode III", doesn't it?
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:July 13th, 2005 03:13 am (UTC)

Re: ...my eloquent (?) thoughts....

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No, I too, waited for the quickening that never happened...and it would have been such a beautiful delivery for Anakin to say, "There can be only ONE!"

"Space Porn, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Thunder-Thighs. Its nocturnal emmission: to explore strange new body cavities, to get off with new life forms and erotic civilizations, to boldly go where every man has gone before, especially Ron Jeremy."
[User Picture]
From:davidmcd
Date:July 13th, 2005 03:18 am (UTC)

All I can think of.....

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I can just see it now....

Ohhhh... Ohhhh... ohhhh... OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH....

WE COME IN PEACE..........ohhhh...ohhhhh...ohmygod...ohmygod .... up for more?

That, and....

"He's headed for that small moon"

"That's no moon...."

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