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Blitzkrieg Blonde

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05:17 pm: Argh, Avast, Blast and Bother...
Grumble, grumble, grumble.

I'm completely lacking motivation to work at the moment...

My vision is still shot, so...no driving...unless I can find some poor unsuspecting sap to drive me where I want to go...I guess I should make a sign reading 'I'm the one you chat with on the internet;' position myself at the nearest Starbucks and see if that will work for transportation purposes. On second thought, I think I'd rather walk...

I'm just about sick of Starbucks too--that seems to be where I wind up on date nights. What is it with guys and Starbucks? A more impressive first date would be a nice film depicting a bit of the old ultra-violence, followed by tons of ice cream...or a cozy night at home watching a film depicting a bit of the old ultra-violence and snuggling with the heck-hounds, followed by tons of ice cream. What's a girl to do? Men, take note: coffee houses are for those types who really don't know the difference between their ass and their armpit, but they would like you to believe they understand the complexities of Russian literature in a post-Soviet economy or the effect of gamma rays on the man in the moon for that matter; drivel and more drivel. I feel bad for those poor souls who have to work at those places--you have my sympathy! Coffee house regulars actually do come in handy if you missed an episode of Friends...but beyond that; have proven not to be of much use to society. Plus, coffee houses have no ice cream. And in the end, that's all that really matters! Point taken?

Boy am I feeling itchy this evening--very much in the mood to rant a little...what ever will be next?

Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: The Clash: Janie Jones

Comments

[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 8th, 2005 01:51 am (UTC)
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Coffee houses...lions tigers and bears - Oh my....WTF? I thought you divorced that dumbass??? Who the hell goes to coffee houses on dates??? Goddamn....now I wanna rant or at least sniff some glue...gimme gimme shock treatment!
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:February 8th, 2005 04:39 am (UTC)
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One date in particular (prior to surgery since I've pretty much been homebound since then...sigh)--we wound up at Starbucks and that was it--no movie, no dinner...just Starbucks. I thought I told you all about this one! But...my memory fails me sometimes...you know...like all American girls, I just lose myself in your steely gaze when we talk and all thoughts just go right out the window *dreamy sigh* :-)

Needless to say, he did not make a good first impression! And, to make matters even more freaky, he went into his choice of bathroom literature. Ten minutes of what he likes to read on the toilet. Uhhh...dude...I really don't need to know that stuff. What am I? Flypaper for freaks? I don't even need to get started on other events...that was a brief and unfortunate encounter which hopefully will be permanently removed from my memory after much, much therapy. Okay...I think I'm pretty much an open book, but OMG...there are some things that are just not discussed in polite company--ESPECIALLY on a first date. With exception to you my little minx, I simply will not tolerate that subject! Now...everyone who reads this post will be bombarding me with their choice of shiterature. Oops...I mean literature.
[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 8th, 2005 01:56 am (UTC)
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Where's a Capt. Spaulding Thong when I need one??????
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 8th, 2005 02:01 am (UTC)
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*blink*

Interesting mental image... who gets to wear that? Me, you missautopsy? :-)
[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 8th, 2005 03:42 am (UTC)
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Hmmmm - I am thinking me in the Capt. Spaulding thing and you and her gettin nekkid in a pile....
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:February 8th, 2005 04:54 am (UTC)
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It definitely has to be him. And we'll get to yell things like, "Dance, Monkey, DANCE!" or should that be "Dance Piggy Dance?" Nah, that just brings forth the mental image of Cartman. Buff is so much better!

And he does have the best ass for it...CHEEKS of steel! And let's not forget that video camera...okay...now I'm just picturing it...I'm a little afraid...and just a bit tingly.

You know that I can't wait for you to have a political career Mr. Buns--I'll be rolling nekkid in the blackmail money. Umm...I mean hush money...it sounds so much less threatening that way.
[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 8th, 2005 09:43 am (UTC)
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Yeah well blackmailing me is kinda difficult...I mean by now I am suire everyone already has pics of their future commander in cheeks in one nasty pose or another...
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:February 8th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)
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Well...I hadn't thought of that--you're right--you man-ho...always givin' it up for the camera! But I do have a pretty good picture of you, an erect red balloon and a certain young, pigtailed girly-man with five o'clock shadow kneeling before you, mouth agape, and looking very eager to please.

I'll get you yet, my pretty! And your little cheeks too!

[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 8th, 2005 08:06 pm (UTC)
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*spew* hehehe - THAT is a goood picture...deer caught in headlines look if I do say so myself!!
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 8th, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC)
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OOOHHHH - I wanna see, please :-)
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 8th, 2005 09:35 pm (UTC)
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And I'm sure if they don't have those pics SOMEONE out there will be happy to forward them along...

*ducks behind snaabi bobbi using the cuteness as a shield*
[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 9th, 2005 12:28 am (UTC)
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Ummmm - I don't think I would duck *behind* snabbi she is also a skunk in a cute little yellow bob's disguise :-P
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 9th, 2005 04:40 am (UTC)
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Valid point.. she stunk up the house on Sunday!!
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 8th, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
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LOL... that is an entertaining image!
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 8th, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
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How did I know you would come up with that =P
[User Picture]
From:dprescott
Date:February 9th, 2005 12:27 am (UTC)
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Cause I'm a horny little perv? ;-)
[User Picture]
From:blueinatl
Date:February 9th, 2005 04:40 am (UTC)
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LOL - yes, yes you are... I love my horny little perv =P
[User Picture]
From:teague
Date:February 11th, 2005 11:03 pm (UTC)
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So...The secret to getting into your heart/bed/house is a violent old horror movie and icecream? *makes a note of that.* Ok, got it.
[User Picture]
From:missautopsy
Date:February 11th, 2005 11:25 pm (UTC)
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Well, a girl has to have her standards. What can I say--I love a good thrill and I need a guy who knows just how to deliver it. :-) Those who rub dog bellies score bonus points too.

I'll be accepting applications from 7pm to 9pm on Saturday. ;-)
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